“Fuck It — Everyone’s Getting A Scented Candle.”

a crowded shopping mall

For many, the declaration came after weeks of procrastination, as they waited until the last minute to buy gifts for people on their shopping lists.

70 Percent of NFL Players Either Concussed or Suspended Indefinitely

On Friday, Goodell met with reporters to address the figures in the report.

Larry Mullen, Jr. Quietly Deletes New U2 Album from iTunes Library

The album was given to iTunes users as a free download by Apple Inc.

Evidence Photos Prove Michael Brown Hit Darren Wilson So Hard, He Almost Left A Mark

“That kind of inflammation of the skin is something that is not to be tolerated, with regard to the faces of law enforcement officers.”

Poll: 87% Of Voters Plan To Vomit Into Bush Outside Polling Place After Casting Ballots

“In many cases, they’ll vomit once right outside the polling station, and then again at home, at least one more time.”

Secret Service: We Should Maybe Think About Locking the Doors

“This is something we might want to look at.”

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I'm Have to Watch 'Frozen' Again

Father Would Give Left Testicle to Not Have to Watch ‘Frozen’ Again

Band said the offer began as a joke, but is now real and firm, and will be on the table for 48 hours.

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Sociopath Great CEO

Sociopath Great CEO

“When you don’t feel any guilt or responsibility for the well-being of other people, you can do amazing things.”

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Boys Will Be Boys Who Become Men Who Hit Women in the Face

Report: Boys Will Be Boys, Then Become Men Who Hit Women in the Face

The report is part of a larger study which tracked the behavior of hundreds of American males from the time they were toddlers up through full-grown adulthood.

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Experts: Time is Now to Confront Climate Change, if it was 1994

Experts: We Must Urgently Act on Climate Change 20 Years Ago

“The time to tackle this very real, vital issue is now, provided that by ‘now,’ you mean 1994.”

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Racist Longs for Bygone Days When Police Brutality Wasn't Recorded

Racist Longs for Bygone Days When Police Brutality Wasn’t Recorded

“For an ignorant racist like me, it was the best time to grow up,” Dunlop said.

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